Gazzie. An obsessed music freak. 18 years of age.^_^. Long brown/black hair. Easily entertained. Skinny. Loud. Acclaimed Prince Gaz by Arwen! Member of the Unfortunate Family Tree and Secret Keeper of it as well. Lives in America, unfortunately. Owner of an iPod Touch. Is glomped everday! Born into this [world] on 12/19/1989 as it seems it be, Sagittarius. Member of [Slytherin].
Just another self reflection upon life and wondering why things happen to people for various reasons. I was just re-awoken at how small my life is in correspondence to others around me. I've been living in the "me" world and not really looking outside of the windows to my self or my soul. The only thing to break me out of this place is the reconnecting with my self and my music. Wait, I think I just to break myself away from the world and yet I'm trying to reconnect with myself? Ugh, get it together.
A lot lately, or rather, recently when I have sat down to practice piano I have broken down inside. I fall apart at the beautiful music that is coming from the hands before me on the set of ivory, even though it's not in tune. It's just enough to grab me from inside to break me from the world I see all around. This world I enter is peaceful and ambient and everlasting, I'm reminded of all my blessings past, present, and what may come ahead.
Just a few weeks ago my cousin, Justin, called me. Yes, the one that was near to death a few times just last summer. He called me to check up on me and to see how I was doing and where I was in life. I talked with him for a little while and he's normal except a little slow but that is to be expected from the condition he was in. I wish that I would have turned off the TV and got off of my computer to talk to him more. He wanted me to call him back sometime and I said that I would think about it.
When I returned to my piano, it reminded me of how blessed I am. Blessed that I have not had any serious accidents. Blessed that I have an education, house, clothes, food to eat, and a little bit of spending money. I'm blessed that I have an inquisitive mind and talent for music.
I think that also lately I have finally gotten over my issue with my eyelid, Ptosis, with keeping my hair short. I so wish that I would have realized this when I was in high school. I wish I had better self-esteem back then for myself instead of trying to cover up everything. My life would be slightly different now, for sure, if I did change a few things like that. I don't even notice it anymore and it's amazing that once you reach adulthood, people your age don't ask questions about it. I think it's that they're afraid and people usually don't ask until they get to know me better. I would really like for it to be fixed though because of it causing vision problems when I get sleepy.
When your outside starts to decay is when I feel my inner being trying to invade through other means of creativity. This usually comes about by a simple picture or a song through piano or through me simply telling someone how much I care about them. I was thanked again for a letter that I wrote to a friend around Christmas and I told her how she has changed my life and how I gave her encouragement and to never forget to follow your dreams. I found out tonight that if one lady did not stick to her dreams that my life would definitely not be the same as it is now; JK Rowling. :]
Well here's one of my newest favourite songs to play.
Hey blog of crazyness I haven't been here in a while.
So much and so little has been going on in my life since the last update. I don't even remember when that was because I haven't checked.
I do know that I have gone through a few haircuts and a lot of tough decisions and stupid mistakes but hey doesn't that make us more human? I guess so. I feel like reminiscing on the past but I stop myself in my tracks when I realize that I know it will not get me anywhere. It's stupid to reflect longingly on such grander times of my life. I know I need to make the best of what there is before me in order for me to move on with the many defeats of my self doubt.
I've changed my mind about college again. Hah. This makes the fifth time that will be an actual change. It will still be in the same path as the previous one except for the lesser amount of math that I would have to challenge myself to take; Calculus I and Calculus II. I have also felt that I should study more into Spanish. I don't see why I should when it was one of my worst subjects in high school but suddenly now in college I have one of the highest grades in my class. I also tutored a high school student in Spanish. I guess I have acquired a calling for foreign languages.
With the word foreign brings up many memories from my childhood. I was also casted out as the alien or foreign one not because I was not borne in America but by my appearance. It's something that still plagues me to this day. Lately though I've been getting over my facial appearance because I know that it has just been keeping me behind a safety net to the real world. I need to find the motivation to break away from my social awkwardness and make something for myself.
Aside from that I'm traveling to New York City this weekend with two friends since around the time of middle school. They may have even come up a few times on my older blog and quite possibly this one. I just hope that we have a safe trip and loads of fun and don't get mugged or run out of money.
After our return on Sunday night I have to pack for a full week of 4-H camp at Rock Eagle as an Adult Leader Chaperone, which will be fun and another vacation. My summer is slowly starting to fill up; sort of. Well I'm off to play some Phase 10 with a family friend.
A lot of things have happened in the past three weeks. I've finished my second year of college, another year to go to finish my Associates. Hey, I didn't know what I was going to be doing my freshmen year. I was just getting used to life after high school. Everything is scary and new.
I've had a cousin, that I used to be close with but not now because of family feuds, have a near death experience and is lying in a hospital bed right now. He may live his life as a vegetable because of brain injuries. From this experience I have learned a lot about my life right now and just many other things. Mainly, to see how small I am.
Other than that I've just seen how some people waste their life away. I've seen how people that don't have a job or ones that drop out of high school or college live. Ever since my last final I have been sitting at home, bored as can be watching tv, cleaning, staying up late and waking up late. I hate it. I absolutely hate. I hate that I'm wasting valuable days of my life on the couch, when I could be studying something or changing the world. Ugh.
Plus, I've also realized how smart I actually am (not trying to to boost my low ego). But I really have ever since I met people on my mums side of the family or well my aunt's ex family through her ex husband. My cousins Jeremy and Justin (Justin is the one that was in the accident) both dropped out of high school. Their dad lets them run around like crazy children, always has ever since the divorce when we were all young. They only had like one or two years of high school left and they just waste it away. Especially, Justin the youngest. He's been wasting his life away with drugs and alcohol and he's the same age as my sister. People in Alabama don't know how to live right, apparently.
That part just makes me sick. Then I realized that out of all the kids from my mum and her sisters, Rachel and I are the only ones that are going to college. I think only one or two others actually graduated high school. It made me feel special or too smart because I'm the only kid from out of all of them of my generation that is in college.
Mums birthday was on May 19 and I made her a birthday card for her 41st birthday, haha. But I wrote her "Happy Birthday, Momma!" in 10 different languages. I realized then either how nerdy I am or how smart I am that I had the patience or enthusiasm to translate that for her and write it out in ten languages. I knew how to say it in two languages other than English. That just makes me feel...I dunno. Amazing. Made me realize how blessed I am to live where I do and the experiences that I have had the bad and the good. That all of those have helped shape me into the person that I am today. Wow.
On a side note from all of that I realized how childish my mums' family is. They always fight, everywhere and all of the time. My mum fights with her sisters so much and then at times they can be friends. I guess that's just a side effect of being a family. But at times they can pull together to be on the same team. I witnessed this just over a week ago when my cousin Justin was in his four-wheeler accident.
I'm not really sure on the story anymore because it has been changed from person to person. Justin and his girlfriend Amanda were riding on the four-wheeler and Amanda had cut her foot so Justin was speeding to take her back to the house. I found out later that they were actually drinking beer before this happened. So they were going over 80mph and hit a deer. Amanda fell off it first and then the four-wheeler went along a little further throwing Justin off of it about forty feet away; the deer fell instantly. Justin was not wearing a helmet and if he were he would be in better shape than he is now. But Amanda only had a few scrapes and bruises. Justin had/has a few cracked ribs and a double punctured lung along with a very bad head injury.
I spent two days in the hospital waiting room and then to see my cousin like that, after so many years of wondering what he looked like, was just awful. He was so beat up and I am so surprised that Death did not take him. He was so lucky to be airlifted to the hospital as fast as he did. It has made me weary about four-wheelers now when people don't have their helmets.
But to take you, the reader, up to speed with current things. I've seen my family pull together slightly for once because of things being torn apart. My Aunt Judy had Justin with David S. They later divorced after several years. Aunt Judy went through lots of relationships and a few husbands, I think. David remarried to this lady named Carolyn. When we went to visit Justin in the hospital, Carolyn was so nice to let us stay in their house while her and David stayed at the hospital that night. She was so nice then but I guess everyday since then she has gotten irritated with my aunt.
My aunt is a little crazy and no more comment on that but I love her to death. She's my mums fraternal twin sister and I think I look more like her than my mum anyway, haha. But this week Justin was transfered to a special hospital in Atlanta for brain injuries. From me eavesdropping on my mum I learned about the whole situation. The hospital staff from Atlanta came down to talk to Justin's "parents". They only talked to David and Carolyn. When my aunt tried to go talk to the lady, the hospital lady got mad. My comment on that, "Wtc lady? She is his b.i.o.l.o.g.i.c.a.l. mother not his step-mother".
Tension builds.
The next day back in the hospital my Aunt Judy and Aunt Jan get banned from the hospital (also my mother, too from what she found out later but mum was already back home). This part didn't make sense to me. Because why would you kick out the biological mother just because her ex-family doesn't want to see her anymore, when that is HER son back there on the table.
Arguments pursued because the hospital lady was offering an apartment to the "parents" of Justin in Atlanta. So my aunt asked if she could stay. Carolyn replied, "no. Justin's girlfriend and Jeremy and Jeremy's girlfriend and David and I will be in the three bedroom apartment". My comment, "Woa...woa..wtc? If you want to get technical there is only two people that should be allowed to go if you wanted to make it true 'blood' related would by Aunt Judy and David. Jeremy and Justin are only half-brothers but I don't think Jeremy knows that yet or if he did he would not believe it probably....ugh"
As my aunts were being escorted off of the hospital campus, something else happened to thicken the plot. The hospital security guard took my Aunt Judy to the sidewalk on the far side of the hospital or took her back to the McDonald House where she was staying. They made her walk, too. When she got to the McDonald House she found out that she was banned from there, too.
That does not make any sense to me, at all. I feel really bad for her and I just want to make the story known about what is going on and what they don't see. They, being David's family, see my Aunt Judy as a crazy lady that wasn't there for her kids when they were growing up and has a loud annoying voice. That isn't true though. Ugh.
I despise divorces because they make everything so complicated for everyone. I wish people would just stick with the same person that get married to and if they didn't want to get married they shouldn't have done so. Also, to make it less complicated. People should not have sex unless they were married. Why? Because sex is for creating a family, sure it might have pleasure but still. That's not what is designed for. Sex should only be available to people that have a band around their finger and a certificate to prove that they are legally married. Because if not and they have an illegitimate child it makes things so complicated. Especially for the child when their "parents" get remarried or something else worse, they do not know which is family or not.
So to make things worse. Amanda, Justin's girlfriend, decides to post her feelings about my aunts' banning to the hospital on Facebook. Of course, I saw this. I replied to the effect of something that she is his mother and without her there would not be him and she would not be in the position that she is now. She obviously, didn't like my response so she sent me lots of rude comments and such. She called me ugly on my new picture and IM'ed me asking if I was going to say more. I know how she is after seeing her for two days at that hospital. She has a big mouth for a little girl and is not afraid of what she speaks.
Well, I messaged her saying that I did not want to be in the middle of all of this drama. I told her my history with Justin and that side of the family and how I felt about her being the way she was. She replied, "I'm truly sorry." I told her that I forgave her and I haven't heard a word from her since. She deleted her Facebook. She's probably talking trash about me now, oh well. I told her that she can't get rid of family by blood. She said back to the comment on the status that I nor the rest of my family was "allowed" to see Justin in Atlanta.
Oh, it angered me. I'm like whatever little Alabama girl, you're in my state now and my Atlanta. :] She can't tell me what I can and can not do, especially since she is two in a half years younger than me. Whatever chick.
I'm at ease with the situation though, it just really angered me. Ugh. That's just an update. I wish I knew how he is doing now but I guess I won't because his father's side of the family are making us out to be the bad guys in the picture. Oh, I hate this feeling. :[ It sucks. It sucks so bad that my cousin is in the freaking hospital lying at deaths door and I can not see him... :[ They fear that he may not be able to talk or do anything, he may be paralyzed. Honestly, I don't see Amanda with him after a year if he is in the same condition. She has only been with him for almost a year and she's graduating high school or graduated this year.
He can only move but not where he wants to and look at people. He can't make emotions on his face. He only shows pain by his face turning red. It's just a sad situation entirely. I hate it. I know I've said that word several times in this whole entry, oh well. I need to get to sleep because the talent show is tomorrow and people are expecting me to be there to record it or parts of it.
Life is a game. A game that I've been playing now, for twenty years. I've learned that not everything is Chutes and Ladders nor like Go Fish. Life has its ups and downs, excitements and disappointments. Life is a game that we play from the day of our birth to the day of our death, the starting line towards the finish. It seems so easy at first when we're little because we have so much help in the first couple of years of the game. But when we start getting more freedom we discover how life is a challenge and only the successful proceed far into this game of life. The weak fall out or request assistance or they take something to put them on the sidelines and sometimes a speed walk towards their finish line.
This game has two endings that are determined for the person upon their spiritual decision. Not everyone goes to Heaven when they cross their finish line and receive the gold medal. Nor does everyone that goes to Hell receive a participation ribbon for their actions and deeds throughout life. Once the game has ended you're judged on who you know and how you have lived your life since. This is where we meet the Creator of the game of life and ponder as to how its made and the background tasks that keep it going. It's a lot of work and not everyone finishes evenly. But that's all in the box of life somewhere in the instructions that must be sought out in life some say it's in the form of basic instructions before leaving Earth. But not all who are within the game of life accept that as the true instructions to live. But that's for each player to decide, the choice is where they ultimately end up at. Simple as that but complicated in the whole process of living in flesh. We all go as fast as we came and pass the torch on to the next players. :]
Temp: 62F/17C Place: Fathers Weather: Rained earlier clouds out and about and now the sun is out with more rain on the way.
Studenplan (Class Schedule). I finally figured out what classes I'm going to take in the Fall semester.
Precal- This is going to be an epic class. It's four days a week at the bright and early hours of 8-9:15am.
Spanish I (with McCook!!!)
Pickleball- It's like life-size table tennis but on a Badminton court and well I will learn more about this when I take it.
Golf I- I've only played Golf once and I was iffy and it. This will be an experience, I just need another class to fill up time.
US History I- This class will be boring because it's a two and a half hour class at the airport and once a week!
All of these classes equal the grand total of 12 credit hours. Oh joy. I can't take the Computer Science classes that I need because my teacher/advisor is only offering the CSCI 1302 class in the springtime. :/ So I'll be here at least another year, oh the joy.
Rain is falling and as I recall it's the third time it has rained this spring. How I remember this? Because of the pollen. Last year it rained every other day, which was insane. It brought Georgia out of a 100-150 year drought. We need more rain though, I miss it. But the sun is nice every once in a while.
**Random thought. I remember people laughing and joking around when it snowed almost two inches here in the winter. They said that all the scientists and people were wrong for predicting global warming when we had snow falling so abundantly. I wanted to laugh back at them and say, "If we did not have global warming then we would not have this snow." I know that this is strange to say but our weather patterns have been really messed up since the mid 1800's. But whatever people want to think. We have to make this planet "greener" and more self sustainable. You can't live in a fantasy land all of your life thinking that you are not making someone else's life worse.
Hah-blah. I want to have a "green" house soooo bad. Not only does it reduce carbon emissions but it saves you so much money. Some people just don't see that and they wonder why they are running low on money. Man, it'd be so awesome if we could live with out coal power plants and gas fueled modes of transportation. That's a dreamworld that is slowly coming to reality, which is sad. It should be faster. Things are getting better though! I'm staying positive. :]
Frühlingszeit: German for "Spring time". Temperature: 62F Watching: Shrek 3 (nothing else on TV)
I've been reading some blogs lately and I just feel like updating out of randomness and slight nostalgia. :]
Life is a lot better than it's been as you can see from my previous entries. It's not 100% perfect nor as carefree as when I was little but manageable. Mum and I get along a lot better now, which surprises me. I got my car fixed, finally. I was driving mums truck for 2 1/2 - 3 weeks and it was really nice. Her boyfriend fixed it and I told her that I said thank you. I still don't feel like talking to him nor seeing him until my computer screen gets fixed. It's a bloody reminder from the weekend of why I don't want to see him. It's like the reminders across Europe of WWII. Shattered windows and bullet holes through buildings and cathedrals in the major cities of Europe. This whole year of school I've had to look through the cracks and move my windows around in order to see stuff on my screen. Ugh, it sucks.
Also, back in September or October the original hard drive that came with my computer crashed. I was without a computer for a few weeks. -_- My heart nearly stopped a beat. I remember going through steps of calmness testing stuff and reassuring myself that my HD was still alive. I just had to keep restarting and hitting buttons, my mind told me. But secretly, my heart knew that Aeolus had passed on. (lol, sounds silly but I need humour in my boring life).
I didn't lose to much stuff, just a few papers that I wish I still had and a lot of letters that I wrote. Boo. Oh well, life still goes on. That's just a path of life that crumbled away, to say that I can not return to it ever again. :/
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I've been doing extremely well with school this semester which surprises me so much. I say this because I'm passing my math class and doing pretty darn well with it, too! :] If you know me really well, which I hope you would, you would know that math is not my favourite subject by far. It's the only subject that I took twice of each year in high school except my first semester of ninth grade and all of senior year. It's kinda sad, since my major, Computer Science, requires a math degree. Once I, if I, finish my degree I could be a math teacher if I wanted. This is not something I would like to do.
But we have had three tests so far in my Trig class with my Korean teacher (she's really cool. I had her for College Algebra, she's easy and a little hard to understand at first but a really good teacher. She makes me laugh a lot and not feel bad in math.) and I made a 50 something on the first one. The second one I made a 55 the first time. Hey, stop before you make an "O" shaped face with a sigh. There were only like three people in the entire class that passed it. Mrs. Fitton was sad and I think it made her sick that half of the class failed her test. She let us go after giving back the tests and said she would give us the same test but with different numbers in the equations. I went to tutoring and somehow understood the stuff on the test and well I made an 80 the second time around! It made my day and I literally smiled until the end of class and the walk to my car. Mrs. Fitton was surprised that I did so well, haha.
We just had our third test last week over stuff about triangles and well that stuff was so EASY! I think I passed it. I didn't really try doing the word problems, I despise and loathe them. We have one more test to come and then a final. Mrs. Fitton will drop my lowest test grade if I don't miss any days of class, so if I do well on the next two tests. I think I could come out with at least a B. :]
Other than that I think I'm failing my Computer Science I class. haha and it's my major class. The only thing I'm really passing is the labs, which is not higher than test grades. Ugh. I've been doing code since middle school, with web design. But the only thing I'm doing wrong, now, is what I did back then, which is studying the code. I don't read the book like I'm suppose to. I don't read the power points at home like I'm suppose to. I pay attention as much as I can in class during the lecture. But it goes over my head. My teacher is Puerto Rican, which doesn't add to the flame. He's a REALLY easy computer teacher. SUPER easy and I should be doing just as well as the G.A.M.E.S. student in my class that is kicking my butt. But I'm not. I'm failing miserably. Ugh. I need to pull my act together.
British Literature is awesome. I love this class so much even if my teacher goes to faerie tale building with my sister (They're Mormon and that's considered an occult. I don't agree with their views on Christianity and so I don't call their place of "worship" a church. It's more of a faerie tale book they read and a building of some sorts where they are brainwashed). Regardless of that, the class is super easy and a lot of fun. I never knew I would like reading stories written close to a thousand years ago. We didn't really read as much in my British Literature class in high school with Mrs. Wiegert. But papers in that class are easy for me to write and I'm surprised that I get high B's (high 80's) on my papers; shocks me.
Badminton II class is awesome and I love it. I'm so happy that I was able to take this class. Because I finally get to get better at Badminton more so than my first semester at MGC with the first Badminton class. The lame thing about MGC is you have to take three P.E. classes in order to graduate, so I'm going to try to take the Ultimate Frisbee class when I get a chance to. But this class is awesome. I've been trumping on some people and getting beat by a lot of really good people. Katie B from high school is in there with her husband (strange to think that she's married...) and Nydia P (girl that played with everyone's hair in school).
World Civilization II is a neat class. I'm surprised that I'm doing so well in this class. History is so easy but in this class you have to take the right notes and memorize exactly what the teacher says in order to pass the quizzes. I'm amazed that I made an A on a book report about a book I only read thirty-something pages out of. My teacher is crazy, literally. Here's a mental picture for you. Take Professor Trelawney from Harry Potter, make the glasses smaller and the hair less frizzy and more sandy blonde and presto you have my teacher. She acts like her and walks like her as well. Sometimes she will come in hungover from something she did the night before and cancel class because she has a bad headache and feel like she's going to vomit. haha It's pretty nice when these random days happen. I don't even have to really use the textbook for this class either!
Health online class is a headache from Hades. My teacher is Mrs. Wiegert's mum which is pretty cool. She's nice and awesome like E.W. but she has technical problems ALL the time. It stresses me out, especially since she's the only online class that has all stuff due on Wednesday night. I'm used to online classes when everything is due by midnight on Fridays, which is convenient for me since I have no Friday classes. I may actually fail, this easy class. Ugh.
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Other than that I spend my free time between classes at the BCM, Baptist Collegiate Ministries. It's basically a hangout place just like The Station from FBC in Etown. It's pretty cool. I just sit there for about four hours and watch History Channel. :] haha. Occasionally people will talk to me. I've met some pretty cool people here and people that I would think I'd ever talk to. Also, I've been tested my patience. It's here where I questioned how in the world some special education kids with ADHD problems made it to college. But I answer myself, "This is Middle Diddle, everyone is accepted and they claim that it's college....". Ugh. The nice person I am I talk to this person but after a few weeks I begin to lose my niceness with some people.
Perfect example, my sister. She is beyond all norms of what people call crazy. If we're around each other too much of the time we get sick of each other and want to harm each other painfully. But if we haven't seen each other in a while, say a week or more, we are like normal kids. So, thru this I've gained an understanding for putting up with retardness but I can't keep my patience with some people that I see daily. I honestly, could care less if it was at a church sponsored place or not. lol this kid tests me so much and I don't put up with him. haha it's also made my smart mouth go off a lot, too. hahaha anyways...
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I've been talking to Mindy a lot lately through Skype and Twitter and it's pretty awesome. haha this is the most that I have talked to her being in Europe than when she was in America at UWG, kinda sad. But I'm just thankful that we're still friends and she's enjoying the Czech world. I have 2 days until Glee and 3-4 days until the end of the semester! :D I'm going to try to get a job. -_- I'm also going to try some online classes for the summer and see how that works out. I need to try to finish MGC asap.
Here I go again back to my comfort zone, this blog, the only being other than God that I can release all of the thoughts inside that I hide from the people I see or come in a form of communication with. If I were an hourglass of sand right now I would wish that some kid would knock it off of the table accidentally so it wouldn't be my fault but then on the other hand my time here would be up. I'd be happy because I know where I'm spending the rest of my eternity.
I'm just stressed from school, finals, school projects, and church..and well people I like.. Yeah, I'm a human as it seems. I have feelings, and feelings for other people. It sucks I know. Because I know that I'm just going to be a hermit for the rest of my life and I'm pretty much trying to accept that right now. Because I know that's how it will be. I [[[[hate]]]] it when I say things like this to people and they tell me "Awwwwweeeee Gaaarebeeear!!!" *rolls eyes inside*...people tell me to cheer up. But on the inside I scream. I don't want to. I help you with your pity party, why can't you let me have mine? I just wish I had someone "real" to talk to, like a friend. But oh wait, let's see how many of those I have...honestly and truthfully. I don't feel like I have any "true" or "real" friends anymore. They have all left, physically/geographically or just moved on to other people.
To me it seems that people see me as "Gary". He's just there, and everywhere. To me it seems that no one really wants to know about me or why I'm there. One of the main reasons why I like to volunteer all of my free time to community service projects like 4-H or church is because I HAVE NO LIFE. Joke about it if you want sure. Everyone else does. "OO_O;;; OMG* YOU'RE A GUY AND YOU STRAIGHTEN YOUR HAIR? *giggles*..." oh gee thanks for allowing my already low self-esteem just sink further.
People wonder why I don't talk. Hmmm. I don't have anything really to say. I've learned over the years that it's just better not to say anything because when you open yourself up to people you just allow them closer to stab you in your heart/soul. So I just don't open myself to people. Because I don't trust anyone enough anymore after horrible middle school/some high school years. I've just lost trust with people about myself and my personal thoughts on things.
Keeping silent only allows society to form you into a box that you did not want to be inside of or be created within. It's like being forced against your will into a stock like back in the early American colonial days in Massachusetts. Here is when people say, "Gee Gary you really need to get things together and get over yourself and get a life. You're 19 almost 20 years old and you don't need to be thinking like this....you are so strange...."
People say I'm nice or too nice. I don't like being mean to people because I don't like people to be mean to me. But whatever. I try my best not to judge people but I'm always in the process of being judged by everyone....
The part that really eats away at me is that I like someone or well actually three people sorta. I don't like them all the same though, because they are all different types of people. Person A) is a person that I've actually had a past with, it was only for a few days and was strange. People talked so much and it didn't last. Now I wish that it was back but different this time. I like her so much and she shows all these signs but she flirts with people without thinking about it. :/ She likes someone else though...and I hang out with her all the time. We actually talked about this recently and said that she knows that we'll be best friends and that's it... :(
Person B) is someone that I've known for practically half or a quarter of my life but I really didn't start to know her until after graduation. I never felt this way about anyone EVER before. I guess it was because we're soo much alike, it's scary. I guess that's why I started liking her. But it made me sad when she started liking someone and went out with them. Plus, I can tell that she doesn't like me. I mean who does. *looks in the mirror* I wish I could change how I look....
Person C) is someone that I've known for a while and I do like her. Mainly because she actually gives me attention and wants to hear what I say. No one really does that except for my family, very rarely. She is really schön though...I don't want to say it in English because English isn't the right language for it..She also flirts with me and says that she wants a boyfriend but I know how she likes to play around with people. So I don't know if to take her seriously or not half of the time. I enjoy being around her. Mainly because I get attention that I don't get from many of the people that I come in contact with (so I guess my only friend would be the piano that I play....). I would be serious about it but she's not Christian. I can't date someone that doesn't have the same beliefs as me or close/somewhat. Just something I believe in.
Blah. I miss days when I would get on MSN on windows back in the day when everyone was closer together and I could just talk to anyone, because so many people would be online at the times when you needed them. They would talk to you like a real person instead of fake ones that people have become now, so busy in life that they forget where they came from to get to where they are.
But that's life. I learn from my mistakes and move on, but just wish to linger on that forgotten wind and familiar light, that distant smell, that love that was stronger then but weaker now. Like it says in James 4:14 life is only a mist and then vanishes before the blink of an eye (my paraphrase). True. But it seems oh so much longer than that. Sometimes I just wish I were a note that was played and then forgotten. Or that's how it seems to me a lot though. I'm just here for something because someone needs help and then I'm gone, waiting for the next call.
Whatever. I hope I do well on my speech in the morning over Global Warming. I really need to go to sleep now so I can get everything together in the morning. -_- I'm not trying to be a cynic or pessimist or emo but I needed to get that off of my chest and "talk" to someone even if it is my best audience (myself). I'm out, off to sleep. Later....
59. Write a pseudocode algorithm to get three integers from the user and print them in numeric order.
Write "How many pairs of values are to be entered?" Read numberOfPairs Set numberRead to 0 While (numberRead < numberOfPairs) Write "Enter three values separated by a blank; press return" Read number1 Read number2 Read number3 If (number1 < number2 < number3) Print number1 + " " + number2 + " " + number3 Else Print number2 + " " + number1 + " " + number3 Else Print number3 + " " + number2 + " " + number1 Increment numberRead
Teacher did:
Declare num1, num2, num3 Write "Enter first integer" Read num1 Write "Enter second integer" Read num2 Write "Enter third integer" Read num3 Sort numbers Write numbers in sorted order
C++ int num1, num2, num3 cout <<"Enter first integer"<<end1; cin>>num1;
Java System.out.println("Enter first number"); num1=keyboard.nextInt();
Three parts of OOD (Object-Oriented Design) Encapsulation Inheritance Polymorphism
Are computer professionals licensed? What is the ACM and why is it opposed to licensing? What is the IEEE and what is its position on licensing? Should computer professionals be licensed?
Page 188 in the book (due Wednesday, Test Monday) AHH. X_X;;; XDD
Problem solving -the act of finding a solution to a perplexing, distressing, vexing, or unsettled question.
How do you solve problems? 1) Understand the problem 2) devise a plan ...
Ask questions! What do I know about the problem? What is the information that I have to process in order to find..
Ask question! Never reinvent the wheel! Similar problems come up again and again in different guises.
A good programmer recognizes a task or subtask that has been solved before and plugs in the solution.
Divide and Conquer!
Break up a large problem into smaller units and solve each smaller problem. -Applies the concept of abstraction -The divide-and-conquer approach can be applied over and over again until each subtask is manageable.
Algorithm -A set of unambiguous instructions for solving a problem or subproblem in a finite amount of time using a finite amount of data.
Computer-Problem Solving Analysis and Specification Phase -Analyze -Specification
Pseudocode -A mixture of English and formatting to make the steps in an algorithm explicit. -Algorithm to Convert base -10 number to other bases. [White the (the quotient is not zero). Divide the decimal number by the new base...]
Two methodologies used to develop computer solutions to a problem -Top-down design focuses on the tasks to be done -Object-orientated design focuses on the data involved
Psuedocode A way of expressing algorithms that uses a mixture of English phrases and indention to make the steps in the solution explicit.
Variables -Names of places to store values
Assignment -Storing the value of an expression into a variable
Output -Printing a value on an output device
Input -Getting values from the outside...
Repetition -Repeating a series of statements.
Selection -Making a choice to execute or skip a statement (or group of statements)
